While it’s easy to think we are giving our kids a good life, we often miss the signs that our children are taking advantage of us. And while giving your kid things to make them happy, you might actually be turning them into a spoiled child.
Warning Signs You’re Raising a Spoiled Child
I always thought I would be one of those moms who had a firm hand but spoiled my child when they earned it.
My goal was to work hard so I could afford to give my daughter everything she needed. I wanted her to be happy and feel like she had a great life.
What I did not expect was that I might actually be raising a spoiled brat.
The first time I really noticed it was one Christmas when she tore through over a dozen presents in under 5 minutes. And then proceeded to say “I feel like I had the Worst Christmas Ever!”
My heart sunk. I not only spent a ton of money that year, but I put a lot of thought into some of those gifts too. AND I got her practically everything she asked for. It started to click that I was raising an ungrateful kid.
All my years of ‘giving her the best life’ had a disastrous effect. I was raising a spoiled child.
Then I started to notice other signs that she was a spoiled kid. Things I let slip that never really registered with me. Because being spoiled isn’t just about having too many possessions…
There are actually several ways to tell that you are raising a spoiled brat.
8 Ways To Tell If Your Kid Is a Spoiled Brat
1 – Constantly Throw Temper Tantrums
If you have a child who is throwing temper tantrums at every little thing, chances are you have a spoiled child. And I’m not just talking about when they don’t get a toy they wanted. But literally all day long. When it’s time for dinner or time for bed. Or when you tell them to stop hitting the dog.
What to do: Teach them it’s OK to be angry but it’s not ok to be mean. Ignore the tantrums as they are happening. You don’t want to give your child the satisfaction of knowing they got your attention with bad behavior. But take time to talk to them and discuss why tantrums aren’t a good way to show their emotions.
See Related: How to Get An Angry Child To Calm Down
2 – Aggressive Behavior
If your child is known to do any of the following, they most likely are spoiled:
- Hitting
- Spitting
- Kicking
- Grabbing
- Biting
- Pinching
These behaviors are aggressive and are a sign that your child is used to getting their way and not being held accountable for their actions.
What to do: Hold them accountable and remove them from the situation until they calm down. When they calm down, discuss why this behavior is not acceptable and that there will be consequences for their actions.
See Related: Why Discipline is Better Than Punishment
3 – Whining All Day And Night
If your child starts to whine about every little thing, they might be spoiled. If they whine about breakfast and whine about getting dressed and have a super whiney voice when you ask them to help out, these are all signs of a spoiled child.
What to do: Ignore the whining. I know it’s hard, but the more you respond (even if it’s yelling) the more they will do it. Ignore the whining as much as you can! But if you really need to communicate with them, you say “I can’t understand you when you talk like that.” And if they continue to whine, walk away.
4 – They Negotiate Everything
Spoiled kids have a tendency to ignore their parents and not follow the rules. They think they deserve whatever they want without having to earn it. You might also notice that you bribe or even beg these kids to do things.
What to do: Ignore the bad behavior and reward the good. Praise them when they do anything without asking, or even if you only have to ask one time. Don’t ever beg or bribe them for anything! You are handing over all your power to your kids if you do this.
5 – Mean And Negative To Friends and Family
Have you noticed that your child can be rude and disrespectful to the people around them? Or that they are mean to their friends and can even be a bit bully-ish? These are signs you could be raising a spoiled child.
When they think they are entitled to everything, they become entitled in every aspect of their life. And this usually means treating people any way they want to.
What to do: Don’t tolerate the disrespect. But also don’t disrespect your child back. Praise your child when they are kind and good and learn when to appropriately discipline them when they are disrespectful.
See Related: How To Respond To A Disrespectful Child
6 – Control Your Time
You might also have a spoiled child if you notice them constantly trying to control your time. Do they demand you do things for them? Does your child have an opinion about going on a date night with dad? Is your child rude and obnoxious when you try to take “me time”?
These are all signs of a spoiled child.
What to do: Reinforce to your child that they do not run the show. The part of showing you respect is being respectful of your time and your decisions. Whatever you do, don’t let your child dictate your time. Take time for yourself, your friends, and your relationship. It’s healthy for kids to see you doing that.
See Related: 20 Easy Ways To Practice Self-Care
7 – Demand Things ASAP
You definitely know if you have a spoiled child when they start to demand things from you ASAP. If they are hungry, they want a snack NOW. If they are bored, they want to play a game NOW. They won’t even give you a few minutes to finish what you are doing.
What to do: Reiterate to your child that it’s polite to wait. Even if you are not doing anything at the moment, give them a set time of when you will be available. If they are not happy about that then remind them that they need to be patient or get no time with you at all.
8 – They are Sore Losers
If your child has a really hard time losing anything, they might not be competitive, they might be a spoiled brat. Spoiled kids have a tendency to not be happy for anyone else, even when it doesn’t make sense.
There was a time my daughter would be pissed off being at another kid’s birthday party because they were getting all the gifts and all the attention. And it wasn’t even her birthday! This is a pretty obvious sign your child is very very spoiled.
What to do: If you see them start to become a sore loser, remove them from the situation. If it’s a game they lost, have them take some cool-down time until they can be polite. If it’s jealousy of another child, ignore the behavior at the moment (remove them if it’s severe) and discuss later how to be a better friend.
Are You Raising a Spoiled Brat?
No worries, mama! All hope is not lost. You did a great thing by giving your child everything you could so they could have a great life. Just keep in mind that manners and politeness are often better to give your kids than toys and electronics.
And if you need a little extra helping un-spoiling your kids, check out these amazing resources:
- The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who are Kind, Generous and Smart
- The Me, Me, Me Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World
- How to Unspoil Your Child Fast
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